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Thursday, April 27, 2017

Happiness and Spending Less Aren’t Mutually Exclusive

Boredom. Sadness. Jealousy. Frustration. Anger. Loneliness. Hopelessness.

Those are emotional responses that I hear about all the time from readers who are struggling with adapting to spending less money. At first, they find it to be a fun adventure, but over time, that “honeymoon” wears off and negative feelings begin to set in.

I’ll be the first to say that those negative feelings can be hard to deal with. I’ve dealt with them myself many times. It’s easy to get so caught up in the things that you don’t have, especially when they came so easy for you in the recent past. When a behavior was just a normal part of your life not all that long ago, it was likely because that behavior brought something positive into your life (even if it was balanced out by negative elements), and those negative emotions are the natural response to losing those positives.

Here’s the hook: Having those feelings is fine, but getting lost in them and giving up because of them is not.

Happiness and keeping your spending under control aren’t mutually exclusive states, even if it feels tough right now. Here are some practical things you can do right now to help bring those two things together.

Explore tons of new experiences.

Fill up your calendar with things you’ve never done before that you can dabble in without much expense. Go to a community game night and play a new board game. Go to a farmers market. Go to a religious service. Bake a loaf of bread. Listen to a podcast. Grab three balls and teach yourself how to juggle. Learn how to change the oil in your car. Introduce yourself to all of your neighbors. Go to a meetup. Go to a free community concert. Go to a free community theater event. Participate in a community theater event. Join a fantasy sports league. Go to the library and check out an interesting book to read. Teach yourself how to knit (this will cost about $3 in supplies). Take a ton of digital photographs of every beautiful place or thing you can think of and share them online. Visit a free museum. Learn about a topic that interests you. Make some origami. Make a YouTube video on a topic that excites you. Learn calligraphy with a ballpoint pen. Learn the basics of drawing. Practice jumping rope. Experiment with different bodyweight exercises. I can list this stuff all day long.

Remember, boredom is a choice. If you’re bored, it’s because you’re choosing to be bored. The world around you offers more avenues for exploration and experiences than a human ever has time to dig into in their life. If you choose to sit at home on the couch and be bored, that’s on you, not on your spending habits.

Start a gratitude journal.

Each day, spend a few minutes thinking about five things you’re grateful for in your life as it is right now. What things do you already have that you appreciate? You can do this with a pen and any old notebook, or you can make an electronic journal using Evernote.

Here, I’ll start you off. Here are five things I’m grateful for today.

1. I’m grateful for the warm weather today, because I can just go outside whenever I like in a t-shirt and jeans and feel perfectly comfortable. I love the freedom of being able to just walk out my front door and go!

2. I’m grateful for my wife’s preparedness and how she thinks of things and prepares for them even when I miss them completely. She packed the backpack of our youngest child with a few items I hadn’t even thought about.

3. I’m grateful for my mother’s gentle cheeriness. She always manages to find that right amount of joyfulness when I talk to her that raises my mood without being annoyingly over-the-top cheerful.

4. I’m grateful for having some extra time today to fill however I want. Things clicked nicely into place to give me a nice window of unexpected free time.

5. I’m grateful for my daughter’s singing voice when she really concentrates on singing well. She’s got a very impressive vocal range with a low end that’s startlingly low for a girl of her age, and when she uses it well, it’s gorgeous.

All of those things are essentially “free” things that make my life better, and spending just a moment or two reflecting on them makes me realize that my life is quite abundant without spending a dime. In fact, if you make gratitude journaling a consistent thing, you’ll eventually wind up with the feeling that your life is incredibly abundant even without that extra spending you once indulged in.

Volunteer to help those less fortunate.

Quite often, we allow ourselves to be lulled into a state of believing that we have a bad lot in life, that the deck is stacked against us and that everyone has it better than we do. That type of thinking can quickly swirl into a backlash against spending self-control.

The most useful strategy for fighting against that cycle of thinking is to intentionally expose yourself to people who are substantially less fortunate than you, as it becomes a clear reminder of all of the fortune you actually do have in your life.

If you spend your time volunteering to help people who are struggling with physical, emotional, financial, professional, and other types of severe challenges in your life, it can make you aware very quickly that your life is incredibly blessed by not having those challenges facing you. Understanding all of the wonderful advantages you already have in life is an incredibly powerful way to put negative emotions about spending to have even more into check. You already have an abundance of goodness in your life, so why sacrifice your future to try to toss even more stuff onto a bountiful plate?

Use your financial progress as a point of personal pride by setting up a progress chart.

Whenever I’m feeling negative about making better day-to-day life choices, I often find that my positive feelings about those choices are greatly helped by actually seeing the progress I’ve made. For me, this takes the form of a simple line that plots my net worth over time, a line that’s steadily pointing upwards.

When I look at that line, a line that starts several years ago at a point well below zero and goes steadily upward to a net worth far beyond what I honestly believed I would achieve in life when I started, I feel a blossoming of pride in my gut. My efforts really are worth it. They really have changed things. When I look at that starting point, I find myself remembering the worry and pain of my situation when I started this journey and how I’ve effectively melted away the sources of those worries.

I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished – not in the beat-my-chest-about-it-all-day-long kind of way, but in the warm way that fills my chest up and fuels me throughout the day.

Try doing the same. Make yourself a chart that tracks your financial progress. Make sure to include your low point, that starting point that was so bad you felt compelled to change. When you feel down about things, look at that progress you’ve made and feel proud of it. You should feel proud!

Come up with some low-cost social activities for you and your friends and invite them to participate.

Have a potluck dinner party. Meet to play Frisbee at the park. Have a board game night or a card game night. Spend a day together doing a home improvement project at one friend’s house, then spend another day doing one at another friend’s house, and so on. Volunteer together for a political or social cause you both care about. Go to the beach together. Go on a hike together. Go to a museum together. Start a book club and request a bunch of copies of that book from the library. Make some homemade foods together (like a giant batch of home-brewed beer). Make a ton of meals in advance together for each of you to pop in the freezer.

There are tons and tons and tons of ways to do social things without cracking open your wallet. Loneliness brought on by a sense that you have to spend money to hang out with people is the result of a lack of imagination or a lack of a will to suggest anything, not by the false idea that saving money has to be anti-social.

Use the abundance of stuff in your closets.

If you’re like me, you have items from a bunch of different hobbies stowed away in your closet. Dig them out and dig into those hobbies.

In just the last few months, I dug out a few pieces of home exercise equipment and started using them regularly. I dug out a calligraphy set and made some calligraphy with my daughter and oldest son (my youngest one preferred to make “ink stains on the table” rather than calligraphy). I found some paints and some miniatures and spent a rainy afternoon painting them with my children and my wife. I found some old piano books, gave them to my daughter, and went through a few of the songs with her. I found a harmonica and dusted off my rusty skills.

Almost all of us have items in our closets that are keys to unlocking some of our deepest interests. They just got stuck in the closet in a moment of hurry and then life got in the way. Dig them out. Explore them again. You may find more joy than you think.

Don’t consume substances that contribute to melancholy.

For many people, alcohol can fill them with a sense of melancholy and sadness; for others, alcohol just amplifies whatever they’re feeling anyway, so it can amplify sadness. Many other substances have similar effects on one’s mood; they can make an already sad mood even worse and can amplify problems.

Your best bet is to avoid all of that stuff if that’s how it affects you. If drinking makes you feel sad, particularly if you find yourself drinking alone, just stop. Take a break from it. Don’t let a substance drag you down into a pool of melancholy.

It can be hard to break an addiction. Focus on taking one day at a time. Surround yourself with supportive people who aren’t also tied into that addiction. Look for new things in life. It won’t be easy, but it is possible. I’ve watched loved ones break substance habits and addictions; I know you can do it.

Get eight hours of sleep a night.

The science is becoming more and more clear that the further a person deviates from eight hours of sleep, the more likely they are to have adverse health and psychological effects. It can be really, really tempting sometimes to sleep less than eight hours per night – I know it’s true for me – and for some, more than eight hours of sleep is a temptation, but you should be shooting for a long-term average of eight hours of sleep per night.

Some common effects of not getting enough sleep in the short term include mood swings, irritability, lack of clarity of thought, dissatisfaction, and lack of productivity. Many people who consistently get less sleep than necessary essentially fold their personality around these effects and thus don’t see the negatives, but they’re virtually always there.

If you find yourself really struggling with negative feelings regarding your spending choices, get some sleep. Try to push your weekly average toward eight hours per night and see how that makes you feel. Remember, if the options are watching another hour of Netflix or getting another hour of sleep, sleep is almost always the better choice.

Get outside.

There are simply a ton of benefits to spending time outside each day. We live in a world that encourages staying indoors most of the time, but our bodies and minds are designed to spend significant time outdoors. The various biological and chemical effects of being outdoors have profound positive effects on a person’s mindset and health.

If you’re not sure where to start, start by going on a nature walk at a park. Just stroll through the woods at your own pace. If you feel like you need to be doing something, listen to a podcast or an audiobook, but there’s a lot of value in just tossing distractions and enjoying the moment. There’s quite a lot of evidence of the mental and physical health benefits of so-called “forest bathing”.

Going outside is completely free. It raises your mood. It clears your mind. It helps improve your health. It puts your focus on things that don’t involve spending money. It’s just an all-around win.

Get some exercise.

Almost everything that I just wrote about going outside also applies to exercise. It’s something you can do for free. It’s something that has proven physical and mental health benefits. It’s something you can do to take your mind off of spending. It’s just a win in every dimension.

You don’t have to rush out there and start killing yourself, either. Take it easy. Go on a walk. Do what my son likes to do, which is turn on music he likes and do a martial arts form to the rhythm. Pick up some weights.

I want to pause here for a moment and note that the last three items – getting more sleep, going outside, and getting some exercise – are all strategies for which there are proven mental and physical health benefits. Of course, this begs the question of how exactly that ties into being happier with spending less. The answer is simple: all three of those activities are free activities that have demonstrable positive effect in terms of lifting your overall mood and sense of well being. No matter what is going on in your life, better sleep, more outdoor time, and more exercise will put you in a better mindset. You’ll be less likely to fall into mental states that are governed by negative emotions, and thus you are less likely to harbor negative feelings about the changes in your spending.

In simplest terms, if you do things that are known to improve your overall mood and sense of well-being, you’re less likely to be pulled down into negative moods by your spending choices.

Talk to a trusted friend.

My final tactic is to simply spend some time talking to a friend that you deeply trust. It might be a sibling or a close lifelong friend or a parent or an adult child with which you have a strong relationship. You just need to identify someone in your life who cares deeply for you, even with your flaws, that you deeply trust.

Just talk to that person. Let the conversation flow freely. Talk about whatever’s on your mind and your heart. Listen to what they have to say, and ask questions to learn more about their challenges and ideas. Let the conversation go on and on until you’re both in a pleasant place of being talked out, then hug or shake hands and go on your merry way.

Why do this? First of all, such deep social contact is an incredible mood lifter. Strong relationships are also a powerful reminder of the abundance that we already have in life. Furthermore, these kinds of conversations often serve the valuable purpose of relieving some of the mental and emotional burdens we’re carrying, which can make it easier to handle other challenges in our lives.

As you progress through the challenges of changing your financial life for the better, remember that there are always positive actions you can take today to keep yourself on a good financial track, even when you’re not feeling happy about the immediate state of things in your life. You can overcome those melancholic moments without simply throwing money at the problem.

Good luck.

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Don’t Expect God Alone to Fix Your Financial Problems

Let’s start this off with a disclaimer: I’m not the world’s most religious woman.

I believe in God – the idea that we have a divine creator. I believe in destiny. I believe there’s a plan for every single one of us, even if we can’t see it yet.

I believe in the goodness of people; I believe in hope. I believe that when you treat others well, those good deeds come back tenfold. But that’s where the order of the universe ends in my book.

You see, I also believe in grit. I believe the best way to improve your life is through hard work and perseverance. I believe that making smart decisions can make you happier, healthier, and yes, wealthier. I also believe that poor decisions can leave you broke, unhealthy, and miserable.

I know from experience that you can sink or swim, fail or succeed, shrivel or thrive based largely on your own efforts. And I’m fairly certain that God can’t help you if you don’t help yourself.

So, I humbly ask a favor: Stop asking God to fix your financial problems.

The longer you wait to help yourself, the worse off you’ll be.

Why God Alone Won’t Fix Your Financial Woes

If that comes off as harsh, I totally get it. But please believe me when I say my intentions are pure.

As someone who writes about personal finance for a living, I’ve experienced a lifetime of teachable moments that led me to believe this needs to be said.

When you’re struggling with money, it’s easy to place your salvation in the hands of someone else – in this case, God. And no one should criticize your belief in a savior or your need to pray for help.

But it could be a problem if you have so much faith that you never take steps to help yourself.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen the exact scenario I’m describing damage lives for years. Plenty of friends and acquaintances suffer unnecessarily with credit card debt, budgeting issues, and income constraints. Many times, I have heard friends say they’ll just give their problems to God.

Praying for help is a beautiful gesture, but it’s not always enough. There are times in our lives where, to improve our lot, we have no choice but to back up our prayers up with action.

If you’re spending more money than you earn each month, you can’t expect a higher power to make the math work out. It’s possible you’ll have a revelation, receive an inheritance, or have your financial issues solved some other way — but chances are, the most surefire way to fix your spending habits is to change yourself.

But, you know what? Most people don’t want to hear that advice. Taking a critical look at your life and your own habits is hard. It’s a lot easier to ask God for help than to admit that you’re part of the problem. After all, that realization might mean changing your life in some uncomfortable ways.

We’ve all witnessed someone refusing to accept common sense advice that could improve their life. How many times have you heard someone say something like…

“I know I can’t afford this car payment, but I love having a nice new car! I’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t have the money for rent this month, so I might as well go shopping. God will sort it out.”

“My life is a mess, but I’m a good person. I know I’ll get what I’m due one of these days.”

Or, my personal favorite:

“This is all part of God’s plan for me. I have no power over my own life.”

That last one is probably the worst, mostly because people who believe they have no power over their lives have no incentive to make better decisions.

An acquaintance of mine is a perfect example of how damaging this type of thinking can be. Her financial life is in shambles, yet she insists it’s all part of a master plan. Between credit card bills, student loans, and poor spending habits, her family may never own a home. But she also admits to spending more money than they have, mostly because she doesn’t want her kids to “go without.” Recently, she charged an entire family vacation to her credit card without having any way to pay it off.

Her solution? She’s going to pray for one, because she doesn’t have one.

But the overdue bills keep coming, along with the problems they create. She could take steps to curb the family’s spending, she says, but she isn’t quite ready to sacrifice yet. And she insists that God is preparing to do amazing things in her life – if only she can wait long enough.

I’m not picking on this wonderful lady. I just wish she would stop using her faith in God as an excuse to sprint toward self-destruction. And I hate the fact that her situation might get a whole lot worse before it gets better.

Pray for Help, But Also Do This

It’s often said that, “God helps those who help themselves.” This isn’t to say that religion can’t be a catalyst for good things in your life. Instead, this phrase explains the painful truth that we often have to work for what we want.

If you really want a better life, you have to act. Realizing your spending habits may be part of the problem takes guts, but that’s only half the battle. Once you gain the courage to face your problems head-on, here are some steps to take:

  • If you’re struggling with poor spending habits, start tracking your spending from the previous month. A lot of times, seeing where your money is going in stark black and white is the best way to cultivate an attitude of change.
  • If you’re drowning in debt, explore the concept of budgeting to find new ways to pay off your outstanding bills – once and for all.
  • If you’re spending more than you earn, stop. Cut your spending hard – or quit spending money altogether – until you can find a balance between “needs” and “wants.”
  • If you can’t stop justifying over-the-top splurges, stop and take a long look in the mirror. Ask yourself what your family really deserves. Is it a lifetime of debt and “stuff?”

No matter what you do, stop asking God to fix everything while you quietly destroy yourself from within. Pray for self-discipline, not a money miracle. Stop burying your head in the sand while your problems get worse with each passing year. Demand to take back your power, and figure out what it will take to improve your life.

Once you stop expecting God to fix your finances and start taking steps to improve them yourself, amazing things can happen. But it has to start with you. It always has, and it always will.

Holly Johnson is an award-winning personal finance writer and the author of Zero Down Your Debt. Johnson shares her obsession with frugality, budgeting, and travel at ClubThrifty.com.

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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

How to Handle a Job with Low (or No) Pay Increases

Jason writes in:

I have been working at the same job for the past seven years. It pays well and I am able to save about a third of my income between 401(k) and Roth and house down payment savings. The problem is that my salary is barely moving. I get great reviews but then I get only a “cost of living” raise that’s actually less than the increase in cost of living. I’m basically getting paid less in real dollars than when I started. Wondering what I should do and if I should move on.

The first thing you should always ask yourself is this: Have you been doing things that will create a strong resume for you and make you a tempting hire for other businesses? Do you have skills that will transfer well in your field? Do you have impressive projects to put on a resume?

Regardless of what you do with your current job, your focus should be on making sure that you have a great resume to shop around. If you’re in a position where you don’t have value to other employers, then you’ve ceded a lot of power to your current employer. You’ve made them into your only option, and that’s never a good place to be in.

So, your first action step should be to give your resume a polishing and evaluate it realistically to see if it’s ready to get you anywhere. If it’s not, start investing as much of your time as you can on projects that are resume-worthy and classes and certifications to build up your skill set.

You should also start taking steps to raise your profile within your field. It is never a bad idea to start building lots of relationships within your field, especially outside of your current place of employment. Start going to meetups related to your career in the area. Get involved in social media related to your career path, particularly in areas where you can show off your skills a little (like an online community focused on your areas of expertise).

These steps are twofold. They’ll obviously help you if you decide to switch to a new job, but they’ll also give you some leverage with your current workplace. You’re increasing your personal value, which means you have more poker chips with which to stay in the game.

What about your current job, though? As you go through the steps of preparing yourself for a potential move, take stock of your current organization. Do you enjoy the environment at the current workplace? Is the management flexible and treats you well, or are they cruel and uncaring? Do you have good relationships with your coworkers, or is the place poisonous? Does the organization as a whole seem to be on solid ground, or are things looking shaky? Do you enjoy the projects you’re working on or do you find them boring?

If you feel that your current place of employment is a good place to work and has some stability, then it makes more sense to keep working with them. If this is the case, have a sincere discussion with your manager – remember, if you’re in this situation, your manager is probably someone you get along with and trust to some extent, or else you’d be wanting to get out of there.

Simply lay out the situation. You’ve been a good employee for a long time. You have a competitive skill set and a lot of experience. You feel you have earned more compensation and, all things being equal, you’d prefer to stay with your current organization if they show you that your efforts are rewarded with a notable increase in compensation. If you’re unsure what you should be asking for, take a look at what people are getting paid with similar levels of experience at positions like yours in your area by using job listings. (Remember, this is only good leverage if you’re a good employee. If you’re not a good employee, they may decide that a new face in your position is a better value for their dollar. If you’re below average, paying you the average might not be the wisest idea.)

Your current workplace would have to be in a very poisonous position if your manager did not understand this. If your manager actually balks at this concept, then it’s a sign that you should be moving on.

What you should expect is that your manager will agree with you to some extent and then he or she will seek to reward you with additional compensation. Be aware that this might not be immediate. There are perhaps conversations that need to occur and budgets that need to be evaluated before you can get a raise. Your best route during this process is to occasionally touch base with your supervisor on the progress of getting a raise. If you begin to feel that you’re getting the runaround and nothing is going to change – being patient is good, but patience does have its limits – then it’s time to start seeking new employment.

If you find yourself in a scenario where new employment seems to be the best route, whether it’s due to uncertainty about the future of your workplace, unhappiness with the environment, or a lack of attention being given to your compensation, then the next step is to start looking for a new position.

The honest truth of the matter is that most jobs are won through relationships, not through applications. Most of the time, winning applicants are referred to a business by a current employee and it’s due to that personal reference that the position is won.

So, your first step in this process should be to ask around through your trusted professional relationships as to whether there are any appropriate positions out there for you. If you’ve got some strong relationships, have been helpful within those relationships in the past, and have a good reputation, it’s likely that at least one of those people will be able to point you toward a job that you could apply for within their organization or an organization that they have ties to. (In fact, this is exactly how I applied to every professional job position I ever held; it started with a professional relationship.)

Sometimes, you’ll find that this happens very fast, especially if you’re referred to a job at a smaller company. Small companies tend to be very agile with their hiring and can sometimes have a job offer for you on the table in just a day or two. At other times, you’ll find that the wheels turn very slowly. You apply and then wait for months and then have a phone interview and then wait for a month and then have another phone interview and then wait a month and then have a face-to-face interview and then wait for a month… you get the idea. This tends to be true for government jobs and jobs with very large corporations, in my experience. There’s no need to be impatient here, especially if you happen to like most aspects of your current job.

If you have a job offer in hand but you still like your current environment, go back to your supervisor with your job offer in hand and give them a chance to match it. This is the appropriate thing to do if you have a good relationship with your current employer and like your current work environment. Give them a chance to match your offer, and if they do, stay where you are. If not, well, you have a job offer in hand!

Another route, particularly if you have a lot of downtime at your current job, is to launch a side gig to supplement your income. If you have an unfulfilled interest or passion, a side gig can be a great way to bring that passion to the table and channel some energy through it in order to earn some income. Side gigs can take on all kinds of shapes and sizes – my father’s side gigs included small-scale commercial fishing and vegetable farming, for example, and my mother’s side gigs involved meal preparation and child care, while my own side gigs included building websites and fixing computers and my own children have an after school side gig on Youtube. You can start this process right now by brainstorming ideas for side gigs, then writing up business plans for the best ones.

The thing to remember in all of this is that your loyalty to a company has to be earned, not given. If a company does not treat you well, then you don’t have to continue working there out of a sense of loyalty. If you’re not being compensated in a way that’s reasonable compared to your experience and efforts, it really is okay to ask for a raise and, if you don’t get one, to look into moving on. Just make sure, before you start, that you’ve got a skill set and a professional network that will make it easy for you to move to a new job, or else you’ve given your current company all of the leverage.

Good luck!

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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Just a Little Patience: 14 Ways to Develop Restraint

A couple of years ago, I wrote an article about nine techniques I was using to teach myself patience, because patience was (and still is) one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced on the road to financial independence.

The techniques that worked for me boiled down to three things.

First, try to see situations in your life from different perspectives. Step back and evaluate things from the perspective of your future self a year from now or five years from now or 20 years from now. Step back and evaluate things from the perspective of your children, from the perspective of your spouse, from the perspective of your friends.

Second, make big goals, then break them down into tiny day-sized pieces. What can you do today to achieve this goal? This puts the emphasis on things like frugality and automation and shopping around in terms of personal finance planning, which are the more successful strategies I’ve found.

Third, put the focus on enjoying the ride rather than pining for the destination. Rather than looking for the things that are missing in your day, look for the abundance of things that are there. Don’t get fixated on the three things you choose to do without when your life is loaded with infinite avenues of entertainment and fulfillment.

Those things are great principles to live by, but they don’t always feel applicable to the struggles of day-to-day living. How do you take those overall principles of patient living and really ingrain them into ordinary daily life, especially when that life is often incredibly busy and full of distractions?

Here’s a practical checklist of things you can do regularly – daily or less frequently, depending on your needs – to develop smart patience in your life.

Think about your goals and initiatives for today when you first wake up.

The first thing I do each and every day when I wake up – literally as I’m rising out of bed, using the restroom, and getting a glass of water – is to think about what I’m going to do that day. What habits am I working to improve? What tasks do I need to get done? How am I going to go to bed tonight with my life just a tick better than it was when I woke up?

For me, this usually takes the form of a to-do list, one that I keep on my phone. As I’m standing there drinking a glass of water, I’ll look at my list on my phone. It lists the things I want to keep in mind that day – habits I’m working on to improve myself and today’s key tasks. The number of things usually numbers between 10 and 15.

The habits I’m working on are ones that recur each day. I leave them on my to-do list all day long so that I see them throughout the day and check them off at night. The tasks get checked off as I do them.

How does this build patience? The thing to remember is that I’m not really looking for results when it comes to most of the things on my to-do list. Those habit reminders are not about results. They’re simply reminders of things I need to do today in order to keep bobbing in the right direction in life. Patience really builds when I combine this strategy with other ones on this list.

Review your day during downtime.

Whenever I have a few minutes of downtime, like when I’m driving my kids to soccer practice or waiting on the dentist, I use that time to reflect on my day so far and what’s still to come. Often, I’ll grab my phone and review that to-do list again – the one mentioned above, with all of my ongoing habits I’m trying to build on it.

Again, this just keeps me mindful of what my goals and initiatives are for today, keeping them fresh in my mind so that I don’t walk away from them because I’m not seeing results right now.

At least once a day, I take a longer block of time and actually write in a journal. I usually take one element of my life – usually something that’s bothering me or a mistake I’ve recently made – and expand on it a little, trying to dig into the core of what’s bothering me and see if there’s an applicable solution.

The advantage here is that I address little bumps in the road quickly before they develop into big problems. Impatience is often the result of processes that aren’t going as smoothly as we hoped, so by simply dealing with the little problems right away by thinking through them and coming up with good solutions, you prevent them from developing into big problems that can really freeze up the gears of progress and allow impatience to destroy what you’ve been working for.

Intentionally do things with minimal distraction.

A big part of patience is enjoying the ride rather than focusing on the destination, and one way of doing that is to simply focus on the moment. Focus on what you’re doing right now. Focus enables you to fall into a state of flow, where time passes without you even noticing it because you’re so engaged and productive. Focus also enables you to notice lots of little nuances and pleasures that a distracted mind misses, like the feel of warmth on your skin or the nuance of what a friend is trying to tell you.

The most effective method of doing this is to simply turn off your cell phone for a while. When you’re doing something that requires focus or which really rewards having your full mind at attention, just turn your phone completely off for an hour or so. Yeah, you might miss a social media update. So what? You might miss a text from someone. So? You can get back to them later. You can check social media later.

Turn off your phone when you’re settling in to work on a project. Turn off your phone when you’re about to do something fun. Turn off your phone when you’re spending time with people you love or care about. Let your focus be on the thing you’re actually doing and the people you’re actually with. Don’t let your cell phone be a crutch for your social or intellectual impatience.

Take on ‘micro-challenges.’

One technique I’ve found that really helps with building some extra life into long-term life changes that require patience is to have “micro-challenges” on many days, where I challenge myself, just for today (or maybe for just a few days), to do something extra challenging to push myself toward a new habit or toward a long-term goal.

For example, you might simply commit to spending no money at all for an entire weekend, making do with the things you already have on hand and on activities that are free. If you’re trying to lose weight, perhaps you experiment with intermittent fasting, where two or three days a week you simply choose to eat one meal later in the day rather than three meals.

These things are mostly meant to add a new angle or some “spice” to a larger goal that requires patience and give you a fresh angle on the strategies and techniques you’re using to move toward that big goal. It’s simply a way to keep a big goal from becoming completely routine, which means that it’s easy to get frustrated with it and give up. If you keep playing around with the tactics, it’s much harder to lose patience with it.

Ask three questions before making a statement.

This is an extremely simple strategy that I learned from a mentor that accomplishes a number of things at once. First, it improves your conversation skills by giving you a nice guideline to work from. Second, it requires you to be paying attention to what the other person is saying in a conversation rather than focusing on what you’re going to say next and giving you a bit of time through questioning to refine your thought. Third, it draws the other person into expressing their thoughts and ideas, making them feel important. Perhaps best of all, it teaches patience, by making you wait before you say something.

I’ve started consciously trying to use this strategy in conversations, not only to make my conversations better and improve relationships with people, but also to subtly teach myself a bit of patience in the moment. I don’t have to immediately jump in with my thoughts, no matter how important I think they might be. I don’t have to focus on me, me, me all the time. I can wait. I can listen. I can learn.

It’s so subtle and simple, yet it really does have an impact. I can feel my desire to jump into conversation streams lessening. I find myself being more interested in unpacking what the other person is trying to say and learning something from that. I find that when I do say things after doing this, the things I say are more composed and, dare I say, wiser and more considerate. It’s like a microcosm of the practice and benefits of patience.

Postpone impulsive splurges.

Sometimes, we just get hit over the head with some sort of impulsive desire to buy something. Maybe we see a book in a bookstore or an article of clothing that just looks so cute. Perhaps you want to buy a new item for the kitchen or maybe you want to upgrade your cell phone. The impulse strikes you and it’s pulling hard.

Here’s the reality, though. You don’t need that item. The want is strong, but it’s not a need. Thus, there’s nothing truly urgent about it. There’s no reason you can’t wait for a little while.

My strategy is to simply wait 30 days before buying anything that’s not strictly a need. Rather than buying something, I write it down somewhere. Usually, it goes on my Amazon wish list; sometimes, it’ll go into a note somewhere.

Not only does this force me to be patient, it pushes me to draw on that patience in the moment. It also saves me a lot of money, because I often find that if I wait for 30 days on that purchase, I no longer really want that item after those thirty days. You’ll find that once that happens a few times, you begin to really doubt how true those strong spending impulses really are.

I do keep a small amount of money around for impulsive experiences, like going out with friends. You can’t predict when a friend might want to stop for ice cream or go out to a movie or something like that. That money can be spent however I want, so I can still be spontaneous. I just use this rule when I’m dealing with purchases or unnecessary solo experiences.

Plan ahead for big indulgences and enjoy the anticipation.

If you do decide to spend money on an item or an activity that you want for personal enjoyment, don’t do it right away. Instead, plan for that indulgence down the road. Plan a vacation in advance. Plan a big purchase in advance.

Doing this achieves a bunch of things at once. Obviously, it teaches you patience, but the rewards keep going. If you’re patient with a purchase, you’re going to have a lot of time to shop around and get more value for your dollar, which means you’re going to end up spending less on this thing.

Even better, if you’re patient with a purchase, you’re also going to be able to really enjoy every drop of anticipation. Rather than just splurging and getting the joy immediately, you get the fun of thinking about something that’s coming up in your life. You effectively wind up extracting a lot more joy and pleasure from that purchase.

I’d far rather plan on going out with a friend on Friday than going out today. Why? I can think about that event for a few days and look forward to it. If I go out right now, I deny myself the joy of anticipation.

Chart your progress over time.

One of the best things you can do when you’re working on a big goal is to look for some sort of number through which you can judge your progress. For example, if you’re working toward a financial goal, you can focus on your net worth or the total of your debt. If you’re working on a fitness goal, track your reps or your speed or your max weight or your step count. If you’re working on a weight loss goal, track your calories or your weight.

The purpose of this is to keep track of the fact that you’re making progress, even if it’s not as immediate or as intense as you expected it to be. Each time you write down a number, you can look back at the last few numbers you’ve jotted down and see that you are, in fact, making progress. Your net worth really is going up. Your weight really is going down.

I find that actually making a graph of those numbers that creates a visual line of your progress is really helpful. Seeing my progress heading in the right direction always makes me feel good, and a graph is very visual in that regard.

Focus on how far you’ve come, not on how far you have to go.

When you’re trying to be patient with progress towards a big goal, it’s often intimidating and overwhelming to look at the tremendous distance you have to cover. If you started at $0 and your net worth goal is $1 million, building to $10,000 net worth is a great accomplishment, but if you’re staring at the $990,000 yet to go, it seems overwhelming.

Don’t look at how far you have to go. Focus instead on that $0 to $10,000 jump, which is pretty awesome. You’ve come far and you deserve to be proud of it!

From this perspective, when you look forward, look instead at matching your progress of the last month or the last quarter rather than focusing on a huge target. You moved your net worth up $10,000 in the last six months – can you beat it over the next six? I’m actually pretty sure you can do it if you keep up with your tactics.

Look at how your life was five years ago or 10 years ago.

Again, if you’re waiting impatiently on a big goal in life, rather than staring at that goal and obsessing, step back and look at your life now compared to the disaster that it was before you started on this goal.

If your goal is financial, you’re likely in way better financial shape than you were then. If your goal is health-oriented, your health is likely better. Whatever your big goal is centered around, it’s likely that you’re far better off now with regards to that goal than you were when you started. Look at how much better that aspect of your life is!

When I look back to where I was ten years ago financially, I almost weep with joy. I used to have a career that involved a lot of travel and a lot of office work time; I now have a career flexible enough that I can spend a ton of time with my kids. I used to be loaded down with mountains of debt; I’m now debt free. I used to have a negative net worth; now it’s quite positive. My life is far better today.

Take on a few long-term commitments.

Take on commitments? Yep. Few things will teach you patience quite like taking on responsibility for a long-term project in the community that needs a guiding hand.

You will constantly be faced with delays from unexpected sources. You will constantly feel like you’re taking one step forward followed by one step back. You will often feel frustrated and have this sense that nothing is happening.

Eventually, though, you’ll begin to make peace with it. You’ll begin to see that Rome wasn’t built in a day. You’ll start to realize that cool-minded patience almost always results in better decisions and steadier progress toward the result.

When you see that at work, you’ll start to practice patience in other aspects of your life as well.

There’s nothing quite like a slow-moving project that you can’t just push forward out of raw force to teach you patience.

Review how you can make the most out of those things you’re responsible for.

Another aspect of being patient is that you often have plenty of time to really maximize your approach to whatever it is you’re working for. If you’re working toward a big weight loss goal, for example, focus on finding new strategies for causing your weight to drop. If you’re working toward financial independence, focus on finding new strategies for spending less or for investing more effectively. If you’re on a long journey toward completing a work project, look for ways to improve the project without a bunch of additional time or resources.

In other words, you don’t have to just sit still when you’re being patient. You can constantly evaluate the problem before you and figure out intelligent courses of action to take in order to improve your rate of progress or to improve the quality of the outcome.

I find that having a mix of strong curiosity and a natural restlessness, two things I possess, makes this strategy really effective. I’m drawn toward looking for ways to improve my situation and my progress toward my goals, even if the methods are like a drop in the bucket. Every drop matters, and I feel good when I figure out something new, even if it’s tiny.

Pause before you take action and ask yourself if this really makes sense.

Many of our biggest mistakes in life come from a simple lack of patience. We didn’t wait around to find out more information; instead, we jumped in head first out of pure impatience and got ourselves in trouble. We speak out about a situation before finding out all of the information. We jump into a course of action before we understand all of the drawbacks. Often, we dive into things just because they look promising at first glance.

Whenever you find yourself quickly making a decision, or you’re about to speak out against or on behalf of something you just learned about, stop. Ask yourself if you’ve really got all of the information you need to make a sensible decision. Do a little bit of homework and look at a few different perspectives on the issue.

I’m not always good at this in the moment, so I try to reflect on those moments later on – as I note above, I spend downtime reflecting on my day and the day to come. I’ve found that, over time, being patient with my words and my actions comes easier and easier. I’ve also found that having more patience with those things is almost always a benefit to my life and my relationships.

Remind yourself that mild discomfort is tolerable and doesn’t have to be immediately fixed.

One of the surest routes to impatient action is a sense of mild discomfort in modern life. We are surrounded by so many tools for fixing mild discomfort – endless sources of entertainment, online shopping at the click of a button, the ability to call almost anyone from anywhere at any time, endless diagnoses and “medical advice” about any physical discomfort, and so on. Because of those convenient “solutions,” it’s often easy to just grab at them and make the mild discomfort go away.

The problem is that we pay dearly for living a life without any sort of mild discomfort, a life with every want attended to. We lose patience. We lose money. We lose the ability to handle lots of ordinary situations.

The reality is that wanting something and not having an immediate fix isn’t a bad thing. It might be mildly discomforting to not have the thing you want right now, but is it really that big of a deal? Usually, it doesn’t matter – that mild discomfort will vanish on its own quickly, anyway. Alleviating it directly just costs us money and drains us of our patience and our tolerance.

If something strikes you as being mildly uncomfortable, don’t treat it like a nail and hit it with the “comfort” hammer. Instead, move on with life. You might just find that the problem goes away on its own, and when you’re used to that, a lot of problems seemingly go away on their own.

At the end of the day, patience is a skill that can be cultivated over time with lots of little practices in your life, just like any other skill. Use some of these practices to cultivate your patience and you’ll find it to be a valuable tool you can rely on throughout your financial journey – and every other long journey in your life.

Related Articles:

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What Your Credit Report Says About You Behind Your Back

No one enjoys being judged, especially by credit reports. Of course, that’s exactly why your credit reports and credit scores exist — to give others information that may ultimately be used to judge you and your credit worthiness.

Your credit reports are full of information about your past and present credit management habits. That credit information is then used by many companies to judge whether or not they wish to do business with you, and under what terms.

You may not like it very much, but you’re probably already familiar with the fact that most lenders will take a look at your credit reports and credit scores before deciding whether to approve or deny your new loan or credit card application. To a lender, your credit reports say whether or not doing business with you is a good risk.

Yet lenders aren’t the only ones who judge you by your credit. Landlords, insurers, and employers, among others, may want to hear what your credit reports and credit scores say about you.

Will You Make a Good Employee?

Credit reports, not credit scores, are often used by employers to assist with hiring decisions. “But John,” I can almost hear you saying, “My credit has nothing to do with whether or not I’d make a good employee.”

While it’s true that you might be able to do a job just as well as the next person regardless of your credit, the fact remains that your credit reports can and will often be used by employers to assist with hiring decisions, whether you find the practice to be fair or not.

Your credit reports give employers an insight into your level of responsibility — whether you have a track record of paying bills on time and managing debt responsibly, or you tend to miss payments and overextend yourself financially.

Furthermore, employers are sometimes concerned that employees with credit and debt problems could be more likely to steal from them or accept bribes or other nefarious financial incentives.

Finally, if your credit report contains issues such as collections, liens, or judgments, an employer might even be worried about debt collectors calling the office or having to deal with wage garnishments, which are headaches most employers would rather avoid.

How Insurable Are You?

Many consumers are surprised to learn that insurance companies routinely review credit reports and insurance credit scores.

On the surface, it’s often difficult for consumers to understand why your credit matters when it comes to home or auto insurance pricing. After all, your credit has nothing to do with your driving record, right?

However, if you look at the situation from the insurer’s point of view, it becomes easy to understand why insurance companies care about your credit. Insurance companies want to turn the highest profit possible, and they achieve this goal by paying out as little as possible on customer claims relative to the amount they collect in premiums. Studies have shown there is a direct correlation between the condition of your credit and the likelihood that you will file an insurance claim.

Should We Break Up, or Stay Together?

When you apply for an installment loan (think mortgages or auto loans), a lender will generally check your credit report(s) and score(s) only once, at the time of your application, and never again.

That’s not the case when it comes to your credit card accounts, because they can remain open for years or decades, and your credit quality could deteriorate over time while the account is still open and active.

So it makes sense that a credit card issuer would want to continue to monitor a customer’s credit over time. Your credit card issuer will periodically check your credit report data and credit score –sometimes as often as monthly –  be sure that the risk of doing business with you remains the same.

If the condition of your credit begins to falter, even on unrelated accounts, then a credit card issuer might opt to change the terms of your account or may elect to close your account and suspend any future charging privileges all together.

Related Articles:

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Monday, April 24, 2017

The Realistic Coupon Guide for Everyday People

Extreme couponing may work for some people, but for most, it’s just not worth the time and energy. Fortunately, there are many easy ways to use coupons that don’t require a lot of work.

From mobile coupon apps to online coupon clipping, technology is changing how we use coupons — making it easier to save (no coupon binders required). In this guide, we’ve highlighted ten of the best, easy-to-use coupon apps for everyday purchases. Plus, you’ll get a clear and simple breakdown of where to find coupons – and how to use technology to make couponing an effortless part of your shopping routine.

Best coupon apps for everyday purchases

The best mobile coupon apps are easy to use — and unlike an old-school coupon binder, you’ll always have your coupons with you when you need them. Below are ten of the best mobile coupon apps for saving money with minimal effort.

  • Mobisave

    Mobisave is one of best coupon apps out there for rebates. It deposits your rebates of any amount, usually within 24 hours, to your PayPal account. This is a major plus because many other apps make you wait until you reach a certain dollar amount to get your coupon payouts. Just select the offers you want to redeem and snap a picture of your receipt to get paid. Mobisave also offers a wide array of coupons for fresh produce and unprocessed foods, a feature you won’t find in many coupon apps. Download Mobisave for iPhone or Android.

    Mobisave best feature - Fast, easy rebates with no min. balance

 

  • Checkout 51

    Checkout 51 features coupons for grocery stores around the country. This includes discount grocers like Aldi and wholesale clubs like Sam’s Club that don’t accept manufacturer coupons in-store. The app features rotating coupons for fresh foods, too. To get your rebates, clip mobile coupons and submit a picture of your receipt for those items. Once your balance reaches $20, cash out your balance to your PayPal account. Download Checkout 51 for iPhone or Android.

    Checkout 51 top feature - Great for grocery savings

 

  • Flipp

    Flipp compiles all of your weekly circulars in one place, making it quick and easy to compare offers. It also shows you how to combine mobile coupons with local deals at your favorite stores. Link your various loyalty cards with Flipp, and say goodbye to fumbling around with coupons at checkout. Just scan your loyalty cards, and your savings are automatically applied. Download Flipp for iPhone or Android.

    Flipp best feature - Matches coupons with low prices

 

  • Ibotta

    Ibotta pairs really well with other coupon apps, allowing you to easily combine offers. For example, pair it with other rebate apps like Checkout 51 and Mobisave to find the most savings. You can also use an app like Coupons.com that get you discounts at the time of purchase, then use Ibotta to get additional savings by submitting a picture of your receipt. You can withdraw your cash payouts with PayPal or Venmo once you reach $20 in rebates. Ibotta also offers cashback when you use the app to shop at select online retailers. Couple this with a cashback credit card and the savings will add up fast! Download Ibotta for iPhone or Android.

    Ibotta best feature - Great for stacking savings

 

  • Walmart Savings Catcher

    Walmart’s Savings Catcher cuts out uncertainty over whether you’re getting the lowest price. Just scan your Walmart receipt using the Savings Catcher feature in the Walmart app, and the app will scan local competitors’ advertised prices. If it finds a lower advertised price, you’ll get a refund for the difference loaded onto an electronic Walmart gift card. Combine this app with other mobile coupon apps to get extra savings on top of those already low prices. Download the Walmart app for iPhone or Android.

    Walmart Savings Catcher best feature - Guarantees you pay the lowest price

 

  • Coupons.com

    The Coupons.com app makes it easy to collect and redeem mobile coupons. Load your coupons to store loyalty cards and collect your savings at the time of purchase. For stores without loyalty programs, just clip your offers and submit a photo of your receipt to get your savings via PayPal. If you don’t mind printing coupons, Coupons.com also has printable coupons you can save to print later for more in-store savings. Download Coupons.com for iPhone or Android.

    Coupons.com best feature - Easy, convenient coupon redemption

 

  • SavingStar

    SavingStar frequently features savings on niche products, not available with other coupon apps. You’ll also find high-dollar coupon offers redeemable in one shopping trip or over multiple trips. Connect your loyalty cards to redeem offers at checkout or submit pictures of receipts from featured stores without a loyalty program. Once you’ve collected $5 in your account, you can cash out your savings. Download SavingStar for iPhone or Android.

    SavingStar best feature - High-dollar, unique coupon offers

 

  • Shopular

    Shopular is a must for online shoppers looking to earn some extra cash back. Compare your favorite store’s weekly ads right in Shopular, then launch your online shopping experiences from the app. You’ll collect cash back on every purchase you make and get access to special bonus cashback offers. Pair this app with the best cashback credit cards to increase your overall savings. Download Shopular for iPhone or Android.

    Shopular - Best for cash back deals

 

  • Snip Snap

    Snip Snap lets you create and share coupon bundles. You can search for digital coupons or snap pictures of paper coupons to digitize the information. This eliminates the need for cumbersome coupon binders because you can organize your coupons into bundles right in the app. When you’re ready to use a coupon, you can easily pull up its scannable barcode to redeem at many stores, restaurants, and more. Download Snip Snap for iPhone or Android.

    Snip Snap best feature - Organize & share your coupons

 

  • RetailMeNot

    RetailMeNot aggregates online and in-store deals for your favorite retailers and restaurants. As you select coupons, the app learns your preferences and presents more customized offers over time. Turn on location services to find coupons for restaurants and stores near you, no matter where you are. Download RetailMeNot for iPhone or Android.

    RetailMeNot - Learns your coupon preferences

 

Where to find coupons

Coupon apps will help you start saving right away without a huge time commitment. However, if you want to find additional easy coupon savings, you’ll need to know where to find and how to use online coupons and promo codes. If you have paper coupons lying around, there’s technology to help organize those into digital bundles.

Some of the coupon strategies below require a little more planning, but others, as you’ll learn, require as little work as simply installing a plugin in your web browser.

Mobile coupons

Mobile coupon apps make it easy for you to clip coupons for later use, similar to how you clip coupons online or from your newspaper. Just download the apps to your smartphone and clip coupons whenever and wherever you decide. These apps make it easy to manage your coupons and help to ensure that you always have your coupons on-hand when you go shopping.

Some mobile coupon apps also have a website where you can find and clip coupons using a Coupon Finder. This gives you flexibility to choose the platform — mobile or desktop — that’s most convenient for you to search for coupons.

  • Clipping mobile coupons

The way each app stores your coupon differs, though. Apps like Flipp let you load your coupons to your favorite loyalty cards. By loading coupons to the loyalty cards you already use, these mobile apps make it easy to redeem your savings at the time of purchase.

For featured stores without a loyalty program, apps like Coupons.com and SavingStar offer the ability to submit a picture of your receipt to collect your savings after you’ve already made the purchase.

Other apps like Shopular and Groupon store your coupons within the app. When you want to redeem the coupon, access your coupon on your smartphone to show it to the cashier or get the information you need to use it online.

  • Clipping mobile rebate offers

Some mobile coupon apps like Mobisave, Checkout 51, and Ibotta offer rebates after you’ve purchased an eligible product. With these types of apps, you submit a picture of your receipt, select the rebates you want to receive with each receipt, then receive money back, most often through PayPal.

Online coupons

You can now find most coupons online. Even the coupons you’d typically find in your local newspaper or weekly mailers like RedPlum and Valpak are now available online. There are many ways to use online coupons, and some are easier than others.

Here’s a breakdown of the types of online coupons you’ll find in the wild:

  • Clip Online, Load to Loyalty Card

Clip online coupons are the digital version of traditional coupon clipping. You clip these coupons to save them for later use at your favorite stores. Some websites like P&G Everyday allow you clip coupons online and link them to your store loyalty cards. This is convenient because your clipped coupons are automatically applied to your purchases when you swipe your linked loyalty card in-store.

  • Clip Online, Print Later

Websites like Whole Foods offer clip online coupons that you must print out. To redeem these coupons, you must present the coupons you’ve printed out at the time of purchase. While this isn’t the most convenient option, it may be the only way to save at some stores. Though, remember the coupon app Mobisave can get you post-purchase savings at any grocery store.

  • Clip Online, Use Online

Clip online, use online coupons are redeemable online, rather than at a physical store. These coupons typically require you to sign in to your online account in order to clip the coupons for later use online. Amazon.com/coupons is one example of this.

Promo Codes

Lots of online retailers use promo codes instead of digital coupons. Typically, you enter promo codes when you’re checking out online. Every promo code comes with its own set of rules: some can be used multiple times, while others are valid for one-time use only. Some companies use promo codes to drive referrals, which means you get rewarded for sharing your promo code with friends and family.

Promo codes are easy and tricky to use at the same time. If you have a promo code on hand, you just type it in when you checkout to get your savings. But it’s also really easy to forget to enter your promo code at checkout time. There’s the risk, too, that a better promo code deal is out there and you simply don’t know about it.

The solution? We like Honey, a free browser extension that helps you find the best promo codes for every purchase you make online. It automatically finds and inputs promo codes for you when you checkout online, always searching for the best deal on your purchase. Honey also offers cash back rewards to its users, among other perks.

To download the Honey extension for Google Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Opera, visit JoinHoney.com.

Paper coupons

Paper coupons are harder to keep track of and require more time to organize and manage. It’s easy to forget your coupons at home, or accidentally let a coupon you planned to use expire. However, if you’re okay with some of the downsides of using paper coupons, then there are definitely savings to be had. You can even use an app like Snip Snap to help you organize your paper coupons. Combine paper coupons with mobile coupons to get even more savings.

How to combine coupon offers

There are lots of really easy ways to increase your coupon savings without having to dedicate lots of time and planning. For example, you can use the Flipp app to discover ways to combine coupons with the lowest prices at your local stores. Then, check for additional savings on your purchases with rebate apps like Mobisave, Ibotta, or Checkout 51. You’ll increase your overall savings with just a few taps.

Here’s one example of how this works:

Step 1: Recently, Checkout 51 offered $2.00 cash back on the purchase of two packs of Scott® paper towels purchased Walmart.

img_1718

Step 2: At the same time, Ibotta offered $1.00 cash back on a pack of Scott® Choose-A-Sheet™ paper towels. To get these savings, all you had to do was submit a picture of your receipt in each of the apps.

Ibotta Mobile Coupon

Step 3: Since you had to make this purchase at Walmart, you could also use the Walmart Savings Catcher to check and make sure that you paid the lowest advertised price for your paper towels, and possibly get another refund there.

Walmart Savings Catcher

The Bottom Line

Take advantage of the technology available to get effortless coupon savings. It’s up to you how much or how little time you want to invest in saving money with coupons. You can spend more time planning your purchases to combine in-store and mobile coupon offers if you chose; or, you can simply remember to snap a picture of your receipt with your favorite coupon app to save a little bit here and there. It’s that easy.

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Questions About Starter Homes, Online Shopping, Hiking Footwear, Pinterest, and More!

What’s inside? Here are the questions answered in today’s reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question.
1. Need a wake up call
2. Cheap cross country move
3. Starter homes for children
4. Online shopping is shopping us?
5. Work to live!
6. Inexpensive footwear for summer hiking
7. Government retroactively attack 401(k)s?
8. Thoughts on “bug out bag”?
9. Tax return question
10. Is something built to last?
11. Thoughts on Pinterest
12. Long term disasters

This past weekend was absolutely beautiful weather-wise, and thus I spent most of it outside doing things like cleaning the yard or taking the kids to the park to play catch and/or soccer and picking asparagus and cleaning out the garden and fixing the rabbit hutch (we have a pet rabbit).

Then, as is often the case with spring weather, the forecast for this week predicts temperatures falling off of a cliff and a significant risk of freezing multiple nights this week, making me glad that I didn’t decide to actually plant anything, even though I was really tempted.

One of the most important things about gardening in Iowa is that you can’t just go throw plants in the ground on the first or second gorgeous weekend of the spring. It will freeze after that at some point. You need to wait for a while, and that usually means waiting until mid-May to plant (and even then, be prepared to do some emergency frost protection).

On to some questions.

Q1: Need a wake-up call

When I look at our financial situation on paper I know it’s a disaster. We have a combined net worth of -$200,000. Yes, negative. We have an absolute ton of student loan debt and a company was willing to give us a mortgage on the back of our promising careers. Now my wife is pregnant and is adamant about wanting to stay at home until all kids are in school.

Right now I should be freaking out. I can see that the numbers are going to have a hard time adding up starting in August but when it comes to actually changing anything I just don’t care. It’s not that I don’t know what to do, it’s that when push comes to shove I don’t feel enough motivation to change anything.

This seems like psychology of course and I should probably go see a therapist.
– Andrew

I agree that this question is moving into psychology, but I consider psychology to be a significant part of personal finance.

I really believe that personal finance success happens as a result of internal motivation, but internal motivation isn’t just something you can turn on and off like a switch. Everyone’s internal motivation works differently.

At an earlier point in my life, in order to trigger change, I really had to reach some kind of low point where I was really disgusted with myself. Simply seeing bad data wasn’t enough. I had to be sick and tired of some aspect of my life, often to the point of being ashamed of it, to want to change.

I have moved beyond that to an extent over the years, but it’s required a lot of self-reflection and constant self-review to get there, and even that I think is pushed by a sense of being unhappy with myself and the current state of my life.

I don’t know what your “trigger” or “switch” is, but it’s well worth your time and effort to try and find it.

Q2: Cheap cross-country move

Moving from Sacramento to College Park this summer. Cheapest way to move? Moving truck?
– Nolan

For a cross-country move, I strongly encourage you to minimize your possessions before going. Sell off everything you reasonably can sell off and fit everything you own in your car. If you’re not taking a car across the country, then try to get things down to a carry-on bag and a large suitcase and then mail one large box across the country the day before you fly to your new residence.

The thing is, cross-country moving in a truck is quite expensive, and it’s usually done just to carry possessions you can easily replace at your destination. Not only that, a move is a great time to downsize your possessions.

So, my honest suggestion is to sell off everything you can easily replace in College Park, reduce your possessions down to the smallest space you can, and then move at minimal cost. Use the proceeds from that sale to buy stuff you actually need when you get to College Park.

Q3: Starter homes for children

Part of your answer in a reader mailbag question today struck me. You said, “For me, enough money to retire early means that I have enough money in the bank to match our current income at a 2% withdrawal rate, plus enough money to fully pay for our children’s college educations and a starter home for each of them without touching the money needed for the 2% withdrawal rate.”

I’m pretty surprised that you’re aiming to provide each of your children with their own starter home considering your stated goal to raise fully independent people who are no longer dependent on you by age 18. Can you say more about your thoughts on this? Thanks!
– Kelly

The amount needed for a college education and a starter home is a thumbnail sketch of how much I want to have set aside for each of my children before I would feel comfortable retiring. Every situation is different, and I want to be prepared for all situations.

To put it in simplest terms, I don’t assume that my children will have the health needed to be fully independent when they reach adulthood. The implicit assumption with my children having independence at age 18 is that they’re physically and mentally capable of independence. I do not see that as a guarantee for all of my children.

I will do what I can to give them as much independence as possible, but I’m not going to throw my child out on the street at age 18 if they’re physically or mentally incapable of adult life. I would not retire early unless I felt I had the resources to support at least one of my children in adulthood in a state of partial or complete physical or mental incapability. My “rule of thumb” for that is to make sure that I would have enough extra resources to at least house them independently, and for that I would want to have enough resources for independent housing and educational tools.

If each of my children were to be functionally independent of me upon graduation, that would be fantastic. I would take the extra money we had put aside for them and put it to some other use.

It’s not enough to take care of every situation, but it’s enough to take care of almost all situations. Nothing is perfect.

Q4: Online shopping is shopping us?

Want to hear your thoughts on this Atlantic article: How Online Shopping Makes Suckers of Us All
– Dana

When I read that, my immediate thought is that this is the risk of buying online when you’re not shopping around at all for the best price. If you trust one retailer to always have the best price and never shop elsewhere for those items, then you’re putting yourself at the mercy of that retailer.

No retailer is going to just give you the lowest prices out of the goodness of their heart. They’re businesses. Their goal is to make money, and low prices are a tool to get you to use their business instead of other businesses, nothing more. It’s only competition that causes a business to ever have lower prices.

That’s why it’s always a good idea to shop around, especially if you’re not buying from a local store (and by “local” I don’t mean your local Wal-Mart or Target or other chain store). This article makes the case for shopping around and keeping competition alive and playing retailers off of each other.

Q5: Work to live!

The people who write into the mailbag have it backwards! You need to WORK TO LIVE not live to work! Most jobs have stuff that isn’t fun sure but the thing is that it doesn’t dictate your life. Walk out the door and DO YOUR OWN THING. If you hate your job focus on living life to the fullest outside of work!
– Will

I completely agree. Your job is not your life. If you happen to love your job and it gives you deep fulfillment, then by all means, pour your heart into it, but if you don’t have that abiding love, you don’t have to give your life up for your job. In fact, you shouldn’t.

Instead, view your job as something you have to invest your time and effort into in order to live in other aspects of your life.

Whenever I’ve been unhappy at work and unmotivated to do much to sustain my career, I usually step back and look at the big picture. The work I do – and the income I earn from it – sustains my happiest moments. All of the good things I have in life are supported by the income I earn from my work, and by doing my best work, I sustain that income and likely grow it over time.

My job is not my purpose. There are aspects of my work that I really do love, and I do pour my heart into those specific aspects, but I do not live for it. I live for the truly great moments in my life. I work in order to sustain those great moments, and I try to do my best work in order to provide a stronger guarantee of support for those moments.

I work to live, not live to work. You should, too.

Q6: Inexpensive footwear for summer hiking

My wife and I have decided to have a cheap summer vacation. We are packing up our tent and camping for several nights at state and national parks. Yay cheap vacation! A week with a full budget of food and lodging and everything under $700? Sign me up!

The thing is that I know I need new shoes for hiking before then. My current ones are literally falling apart. They were gifted to me 3+ years ago. So I looked at some magazines and checked out their recommended shoes and they were incredibly pricy! Not really into paying $200+ for hiking shoes! What do you recommend that’s reasonable?
– Brayden

I have large feet. Depending on the specific brand of shoes, I wear size 15 or size 16. What this means is that buying shoes in many stores is… hit or miss. I’ve had to learn how to buy shoes online.

What I do is identify some really good models for the purposes that I want, then I start watching prices on those models. I watch Amazon and eBay and Zappos and Overstock and a few other places, too.

I do this patiently. I use tools like CamelCamelCamel to keep watch on those models and wait until a sale on them pops up.

Because of this, I often wind up buying shoe models that retail for $100 or $200 or more for 50% off or, sometimes, even more than that off. My current pair of everyday walking sandals, for example, were purchased at 80% off. I actually bought three pairs of them, because they normally retail around $100 and I got them for $20 (they were Keen Newport H2‘s, by the way). I would never have paid $100 for them, but I was happy to pay $20.

The thing is, I had to wait months to find a price that low. I had CamelCamelCamel watching the price and I regularly checked on prices on them in a few places until I found them at the price I wanted, then I bought three pairs. (I knew I liked them because I had been gifted a pair in the past).

So, that’s my strategy. I know what models I like (or I use reviews that I trust). I start looking way in advance and keep searching until I find a price I’m willing to pay. When I do, I jump on it.

Q7: Government retroactively attack 401(k)s?

Can the government really retroactively tax the money in our 401(k)s if they want to? Been hearing about this a lot lately.
– Carl

I received a bunch of emails about an article that appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Grab Your Pitchforks, America, Your 401(K) May Need Defending from Congress, that makes the case that some in government want to change the laws concerning 401(k) taxation. Understandably, those with a lot of money in their 401(k)s are concerned.

First of all, I didn’t get the sense that there would be any retroactive taxation of money currently in 401(k) accounts. If you have money in there, I think that money is perfectly safe. You’ll have to pay taxes when you withdraw it, but not before.

Instead, the impression I got from the article is that they essentially want to make everything into a Roth. In other words, you pay taxes now on your retirement funds, then everything coming out of those funds later is tax free.

Doing that increases government revenue now, but decreases it later on.

Complete speculation here: I think this will end up somewhat being a “double tax” because I think the government is going to gradually move toward some kind of hybrid between income tax and VAT. For most of us, that means lower income taxes, but it means a national sales tax of some kind on all purchases (or most purchases). If they go with this in, say, 15 years, money coming out of a Roth IRA will essentially be double taxed, because you already paid income taxes on it but now you have to pay a high sales tax on everything you buy. When they start talking about changing 401(k) rules like this, I immediately start thinking about long term plans for a nationwide sales tax.

Q8: Thoughts on “bug out bag”?

Friend of mine keeps a “bug out bag” packed all the time. It’s kind of a general purpose bag that’s appropriate for any kind of trip he might take, with toiletries and casual clothes and a few other items in there that he knows he’d need on any trip. Idea seems cool but just having that stuff sitting there and not using it seems like a waste? Thoughts?
– Daniel

I keep a bag packed that I could just grab in a pinch to travel somewhere, such as a funeral. It has a bunch of basic toiletries in there, along with basic clothes for a few days (nothing too fancy) and a pair of dress shoes. I regularly rotate the clothes that are in that bag. I know that if I ever needed to suddenly leave for a funeral or something like that, I could just grab this bag, grab my suit, and go. I just need to go to the closet and grab those two things – that’s it.

Basically, as long as you keep regularly rotating the stuff in that bag, it’s not the worst idea in the world. If you’ve bought a bunch of clothes just to keep in that bag, that seems fairly inefficient, but I look at the clothes stored in that bag as just an extension of my wardrobe.

I guess you could call it a “bug out bag.” I keep it packed because I know that if I ever need it, I’m not going to be in the clearest of mindsets. Having it packed now means I can just trust it if things ever go wrong.

Q9: Tax return question

Just got tax return. Is it better to use it to pay off credit card debt now or to pay for vacation this summer?
– Brian

If those are your two options, you’re better off paying off your credit card debt now and then using the card to travel this summer. In that scenario, at least you’ll have a few months without any balance on the card.

A better approach, I would think, would be to pay off the card, then have a modest summer vacation that you can cover out of pocket so that you’re avoiding the constant expense of carrying a balance on your card. That’s just a money vacuum.

Without knowing your full financial picture, though, it’s really hard to give a perfect recommendation. However, given those two options, paying off your card is the best bet.

Q10: Is something built to last?

How do you tell if something is built to last or just overpriced? Lots of stuff talks about how great it is but it’s hard to tell what’s good and what is just marketing.
– Brenda

I usually rely on three things.

First, I rely on the reviews of people I trust. I look at Consumer Reports, for example, or the word of people in my life who have a good eye for these things.

Second, I rely on my own inspection of the item. The big thing I look for is construction quality and failure points. If I’m looking at clothes, for example, I look for the quality of stitching and whether there are any frayed ends anywhere and whether the cloth is well-made. Does it feel like it will easily rip? Are all of the seams well sewn? I also look at the number of potential failure points. For example, I tend to trust slow cookers with fewer modes and fewer electronic features than ones that have lots of modes and features, because the more features you have, the more failure points you have.

Third, I look at the default manufacturer warranty. When a warranty is thorough and comes from a company with a long history of such warranties (and backing up their warranties), I tend to trust the item more.

Those principles usually guide me pretty well.

Q11: Thoughts on Pinterest

I have been reading The Simple Dollar for a while, enjoy it and have learned a lot from it. I hadn’t been compelled to comment though, until I read Holly Johnson’s article on Pinterest.

I found it really interesting her take on Pinterest as my experience has been exactly the opposite. I use Pinterest to look for frugal ideas, DIY, thrifty decoration and so forth. It has been a “gold mine” of ideas and beautiful pictures that provide ideas to unleash my creativity with things I’ve got at hand or that I can get from second hand shops.

I am learning to crochet and knit and have found nice free patterns. Sure, there are lots of nice thing that are on sale, including patterns, but I just skip those.
– Monica

I think it comes down to how you use Pinterest – or how you use any kind of social media. Social media can definitely encourage spending, but it can also provide ideas on saving money, too.

Holly’s article, I think, was more of an encouragement to be aware of how social media might be influencing you, which is something I think you’ve taken to heart with this email. You went away from the article and looked at your own social media use and concluded that it was saving you money.

It’s that kind of self-reflection that is the value of a personal finance or a personal development article. Everyone’s different, and different people are going to walk away from such articles with different feelings. As long as you move toward self-reflection, even if you don’t line up with the article’s conclusion, then the article served its real purpose, which is to either push you to a better place or to get you to at least reflect on what you’re doing and conclude that it’s good.

Q12: Long term disasters

I just finished listening to the excellent new podcast S-Town. One of the topics that came up a few times was about how due to soil erosion, the practices used by the farming industry for mass production probably only have between 40 and 70 years left, at which point the farming industry will not be able to provide enough food to support the world population.

I know you have fielded questions from people that feel the collapse of society is imminent, and what they should do to prepare for it. What are your thoughts on what people should do if such a collapse is many years off, but possibly still in one’s lifetime, or in one’s children’s lifetime? Leaving aside questions about how to survive in such a world, how does this affect the view one takes about retirement savings in the here and now?

I have my own views on what humanity should to do avoid this dire future, but there are a disturbing number of people in this country that do not seem to care about living sustainably, and do not feel a responsibility to future generations to leave behind a world that can support human life.

The movie Children of Men, also excellent, addresses a different problem but contains similar themes, that being that if people feel there is no future for the next generation, it drastically changes how society functions. I’m very curious about how this would affect people’s current and future behavior as these possible scenarios inch closer and closer with each passing year.
– Chris

First of all, I suspect that in 40 to 70 years, most of the food that people eat will be synthesized in laboratories rather than grown out of the ground. Lab-grown meat is already happening and it’s healthier than what you get from an animal, and we can already make everything needed to provide a balanced diet. As soil erosion makes growing more difficult, we’ll gradually shift to things like this.

Does this mean that I think technology will dig us out of a lot of holes? No, but I don’t feel hopeless about the future, either.

I feel like humankind is fairly complacent right now, but that’s because there isn’t any imminent pressure pushing us anywhere. Humankind has largely been under pressure from its basic needs for the entirety of civilization’s history and many of us are now at a point where we’re under less pressure from our basic needs than we ever have been. We don’t know what that means yet, but many of us can feel that it’s different than what has come before and that leaves us feeling uncertain. I think it’s that sense of uncertainty that leads people to feeling that doom is around the corner, because doom has been around the corner for the entirety of human existence. We don’t know what the consequences of this will be yet.

If you’re asking me, my guess is that humans will adapt to climate change in their day-to-day living by throwing technology at the short-term problems rather than addressing the long-term problems and this will allow us to kick the can down the road until everyone currently reading this website has passed away.

Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. I’ll attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours.

The post Questions About Starter Homes, Online Shopping, Hiking Footwear, Pinterest, and More! appeared first on The Simple Dollar.

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